Alzheimer's

Anyone who reads my blog is a close friend or family member, with a few exceptions, so by now everyone knows that my mom is in the final stages of Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease.

It has always been a struggle, but for the past few months the reality of the situation has hit me harder than ever. Maybe it is because I have been able to visit more often, maybe it is because she is so close to the end. Whatever it is, I seem to go through waves of feeling okay and being really sad.

It kills me that she will never know Joey and Carlee - or worse, that they will never know her. At least once she is in Heaven she will be able to look at them and watch over them and share their joy. I find comfort in the fact that soon she WILL be able to know and see them. On the flip side, Joey and Carlee won't ever get to know her. She would have loved them so much and they would have loved her just as much right back.

I think about HOW MUCH my mom loves kids, especially little ones, and I just don't understand why she doesn't get to live long enough to enjoy her own grandchildren. I used to pray for her to get better. Then, as the years went on, I prayed for her to no longer be suffering. And now, lately, I find myself begging God to perform a miracle and cure her.

This fight feels so helpless to me. At times I look at Joey and Carlee and fear that I too will not be able to know their children. I hate that they may have to go through the same thing that I am going through. This disease is unfair for anybody - but it is just plain mean for it to happen to someone in their fifties.

But in the midst of all these emotions and feelings of defeat ~ my brother's girlfriend, Erin, did something wonderful. She organized a team to walk and raise money for the Alzheimer's Association. I know that the funds we raise will not do anything to help my mom - but hopefully they will keep other people from loosing their parent too early as well. Hopefully the money will fund research that will find a cure.

Being able to do SOMETHING to fight this dreadful disease takes away some of that helplessness and defeat. This walk is a gift and I thank Erin from the bottom of my heart for starting it. I have thought so many times about signing up to do a walk, but never had the energy to force myself to do it. It just seemed too sad.

Now that I have started raising money I feel empowered. Of course, with each donation I see I get tears in my eyes. Some of the people who have donated are friends I have not talked to in years. Some are close friends, others are family. Whomever it is, each donation shows me the huge amount of support I have from so many people. It truly touches my heart when people take time out of their lives to read our web page and donate their own hard earned money. I am happy to have the opportunity to take my own future back into my hands and do something about it. I became an advocate for the Alzheimer's Association and plan on doing this walk every year until a cure is finally found. I refuse to sit back and wait for this to happen to someone else I love. I refuse to do nothing while other people become sick.

Thank you Erin for your constant love and support of our family. You are an amazing, caring, and generous soul. Billy is beyond lucky to have you in his life, and so is the rest of our family. I will forever be grateful to you for helping me to regain power in a fight that quickly leaves you feeling defeated.

(If you are reading this and would like to join us in our fight, please visit my personal web page, and be sure to click on the link to our team web page as well.)

http://walktoendalz.kintera.org/atlanta/donnaberthelsen

Beach Days

Our month at the beach was as fun as we had expected!! Actually, it was more fun!

For me, the best part of living at the beach was how easily accessible things were. You could walk almost anywhere you needed to go, or if you drove it was a super short ride. In an entire month I used ONE tank of gas.

The second best part was hanging out so often with friends that we don't always get to see. It makes me want to be closer to all of them!

Joey and Carlee would tell you that their favorite parts were the beach and the boardwalk. Each of the kids had their favorite activities at both of these places. For Joey he most liked playing in the water at the beach and digging giant holes with Chris. At the boardwalk he liked to frequent the following rides: "the wheels on the bus," the helicopter, the train, and the boat. Except for the train, these were all quarter rides!! The biggest and most fun amusement ride he did was a mini-roller coaster. He rode with his hands in the air the whole way!!










Carlee also loved to play in the holes that we dug. She used the sides as slides, and slid in and out. At the boardwalk, she LOVED this very old Ferris wheel for one person. Each time we went back she would dive towards it when she saw it. We would put in the two quarters and as the seat went around her face would light up. As soon as it stopped she would burst into tears until you put more money in and it started again. She rode on it so many times that she started to know when it was about to end and would start crying right before it stopped!!





There also always seemed to be some sort of construction project going on near us. The best day was when they were fixing the road right in front of our house! I think Joey thought he was in heaven that day!



If there wasn't a road right next to us being fixed, there were lots of firetrucks, sand rakers, and bulldozers to be found along the way...






We did so many fun things while we were there - including going to the FREE Cape May Zoo. Joey and Carlee were enthralled with the goats - and of course, loved the train ride at the end!

We went to several fabulous parks (there were 5 within minutes of us to choose from), went to an amazing playgroup at a local church a few times, and ate ice cream almost every day!!!







During the week we would find random kids on the beach to play with, but would never see them again! On the weekends, we had lots of beach time with the Fannings (including many ice cream trips, dinner parties, and playtime). We also got to spend a weekend each with the Martells, the Halys, and the Hunters. We also got to have Chris' parents up for a long weekend.

All in all, I would say that Joey and Carlee are two of the luckiest kids around! They had a jam packed month with lots of fun, lots of great friends, and TONS of quality time with Mommy and Daddy!!

Potty Time!

So this week was potty training week! I've been prepared for months, but was just waiting for Joey to hit the 2.5 year mark. We were going to start over the weekend so both Chris and I could man the potty, but we ended up having plans all weekend - so on Monday morning I went at it alone.

The first day was crazy. Carlee was in one of her "moods" are wanted to be held allllll day. Joey's potty timer was going off every 20 minutes, and before long he was getting mad that his play was constantly getting interrupted. But after a success and the discovery of the treats, he was excited about going potty!

By Tuesday we had moved the timer to 30 minutes and he was doing great. Wednesday we increased to 45 minutes and by the afternoon abandoned the timer all together! He was doing so well and was going a long time without needing to go potty. So around 5:00 pm, after being stuck in the house for 3 days I decided to do a trial trip to CVS. It only takes us 3 minutes to get there, so I figured if he had an accident then no big deal.

Well after CVS I decided to get gas. And then it was nearing dinner time and Chris was coming home late. I had no intentions of cooking so I decided to push my luck and drive 15 minutes to Chick-fil-A to get soup for the kids. When we got there Joey BEGGED to eat inside. Carlee was a crab again and I weighed my options. Go home and listen to Carlee cry or eat out and take the chance that Joey would have to pee.

Remember, I had just planned on going to CVS, so I had NO potty supplies. No extra clothes, no toilet cover for the public restroom - nothing. And to top it all off, Joey had not gone to the bathroom since the morning. He even had a dry diaper after his nap!

After we sat down and began to eat, our friends Brittany (mom) and Owen (Joey's bud) happened to walk in to Chick-fil-A so they joined us for dinner. Once I had moral support I relaxed and figured if he peed everywhere at least I wouldn't be alone.

Toward the end of dinner he said it. "Mommy, I need to go potty!" So in the bathroom we went while Brittany watched Carlee. I lined the heck out of the toilet with 3 seat covers and propped him up. 2 seconds, then "I no need to go."

Back to dinner. 5 minutes later he asked to go again. Same routine. Same ending. By the time we got home it was 6:30 p.m. and after being home a few minutes Joey informed me that he needed to go potty. He ran in and did a MAJOR pee pee in the potty!!

I was so happy that he was able to hold it allllllll afternoon and not have an accident!

Today is Thursday and I didn't even bring out the timer. Joey has asked to go twice and went both times. Each time he has to go he has a REALLY small accident, but catches himself and then has a success on the potty.

I couldn't be more excited for him! He is doing so well and he is SO PROUD of himself! The look on his face when he yells "Mommy!! I went pee pee on potty!!" is absolutely adorable!

Here are a few pics of our potty process on day one!

DATA :)


TREAT BOX


GETTING HIS FIRST SNACK


WAITING FOR THE TRASH TRUCK WHILE GOING POTTY


LOOK AT MY PEE PEE!!

Joey Says

Joey has been quite the little comedian the past few days. The things that are coming out of his mouth are hysterical - not only because they sound so grown-up, but because they also make you stop and realize that what he is doing is immitating everything he hears chris and I say!
A few of my favorites from this week's list are:
1) "mommy, I be back in 2 minutes. I something to do.". He then opened the upstairs linen closet and began organizing the shelves.
2) we were making our afternoon "up a tea" (cup of tea) - his consists of 1/2 apple juice, half warm water from the tea pot, a lemon wedge, sugar, and a tea bag that I cut the tea out of - and after he stirred it, he took a sip and said "mmm, puuwfect"
3) at bedtime Joey has a monster list of obsessive compulsive things he must say and you MUST repeat back. Added to the the list this week - "mommy's a gwail (girl), caree's a gwail, daddy's a boy, joey's a boy!"
4) as Carlee was putting a matchbox car in her mouth - "caree no eat that. That no foop (food)
5) whenever Carlee reaches for something he doesn't want her to have - "no car car, that's danger!"

The Great Crib Disaster

Nothing like getting thrown right back into "real life" after a vacation. Carlee has been up almost every night since we have been home and naps have been nearly non-existent the past few days. So when she woke up crying after only 40 minutes of napping today, I decided that rather than get her out and rock her (which I KNEW would not work) I'd try to get in the crib with her and see if she would go back to sleep.

Now, you might think this is a dumb idea, but I have been getting in Joey's crib for almost a year now and have never had an incident. It's just like when you lay with an older child in their bed, only with a crib you have to hurdle over the top.

So Carlee and I were snuggling for a few minutes, and then she decided that it was play time. I continued to lay in the crib watching as she pulled herself up and was jumping up and down while holding on to the side of the crib. It was really cute to watch her and she was so delighted, so I just continued to lay there. And then it happened.

I sat up - shifting all the weight to one end of the crib. And then - swoosh.... The end that I was sitting on was a lot lower than the rest of the mattress!

So here is the issue. Joey's crib is held up by metal bars that look like this:



This method is apparently stronger than the method that Carlee's crib uses - which is this:



So the metal bars on Carlee's crib buckled under the pressure of my not so infant like body and bent!



It wasn't until I was trying to bend the bars back to their original state that I noticed this little warning on the crib:



Well, after I did my best at a repair job, I finally gave up and waited until Chris came home. I was able to bend the bars back some, but not enough to make it level and SAFE for Carlee to sleep in. Luckily, Chris came in with the big tools -



And when he needed a little help, Joey was right there with his own set of tools...




An hour and a half later, the crib was fixed and back in order. It was 45 minutes past Carlee's bedtime and she was READY for bed! (Remember, she only napped 40 minutes today!) So I fed her a bottle, and laid her in her newly restored crib where she fell fast asleep.

And then not even an hour later, she woke up crying. WELCOME BACK MOMMY!

Carlee Update

Carlee is growing up WAY TOO FAST! In the past two weeks she has learned to do so many things! I can't keep up with the baby book at the rate she is meeting these milestones!

First, she learned to clap her hands when we sing "clappy hands" or as a way of requesting the song! Sometimes she'll even put her hands up over her head at the end while we say "SO BIG!"

She also learned to go from laying down to sitting on her her own, and then about a day later was able to stand up when supported by a toy or chair. She can't pull up on her own yet, but tries, then cries, and then waits for me to prop her up. Once she is up she squeals with delight! Pretty much all she has wanted to do for the past few days is stand up. She also has already managed to do a few "steps" while holding on and has been practicing moving her foot up and down to figure out how to walk.

In other news, she is also learning to wave "bye bye." This one is a little trickier for her and she only gets it on occassion.

She can also drink pretty well from a sippy cup and can handle puffs, yogurt melts, and small pieces of pancake or bread without a flinch.

For some reason, it's only during lunch - but after each spoonfool of food she says "mmmmmm." It's really pretty cute!

Today, she figured out how to go up one step to get out of the toy room - so much for leaving her in there and knowing she is safe!

There is one thing she has decided to take her time on and that is teeth! 8 months of on and off teething and still NO TEETH! I guess she has to leave SOMETHING for later! :)




Bath Buddies - another recent development



Standing



The Elated Face I was speaking of!



Trying to Hold Herself Up Just a Little Longer...

Best Buds

The purpose of having our kids close together was so that they could grow up playing together and could be each others best friend. But almost 8 months into Joey and Carlee's relationship, I sometimes wonder why Joey is STILL so jealous of Carlee.

We spend many days on the step at least 3-4 times for "Carlee related" incidents. And there are countless warnings: if you (hit, sit on, poke, pull, jump on, kick) Carlee again..... There are days when literally all Joey has to do is look at Carlee and she starts to cry!

Joey's jealousy seems to never end - but just when I think all hope is lost that they will be those best buds Chris and I had hoped for, we have a weekend like we just did.

There were so many moments where my heart was so happy and I got tears in my eyes watching the two of them play together.

Yesterday, Carlee started to cry and Joey quickly ran to her side and loaded her up with toys, saying "here you go Carlee, it's okay." Then, as Carlee began to crawl around the house, I looked over and saw Joey crawling and laughing right behind her.

Today he did two things that I found particularly cute. In the morning, Chris and Joey spent some time building with blocks and right before they went up to take their showers, Joey left one more big tower that he worked hard to build. During shower time, Carlee woke up from her nap and I put her on the floor to play. Of course, she knocked over the tower. When Joey came downstairs and saw what had happened he looked at Carlee and said "Oh, Car Car. Tower knocked over. It's okay," and just built it again!

Later, Joey was playing with an old popcorn maker with the handle you turn. They were both in Carlee's room and I peeked in to find him helping her have a turn spinning the handle around. It was so sweet!

He has also started to get very excited as she eats new things that he also eats. This morning it was little pieces of pancakes and during lunch it was yogurt. He gets a big smile on his face and says "Joey eat yogurt. Carlee eat yogurt. Eeeeverybody eats yogurt!"

Joey has the sweetest little heart and despite all of the brotherly pokes and pushes he gives to his little sister, I know that deep down he loves her more than anything. And although Carlee sometimes gets annoyed with him, usually when he comes around the corner her face lights up. So I think I am done WISHING that they will become best friends, and am now just going to enjoy the fact that the ARE best friends!.....even if sometimes they don't get along :)